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I send him a Smile (come on ES, even Facebook’s given up on that kind of guff) and wait.

The men are ranked by how well-suited we are – and each match has a mark out of 100 by his name.

Justin tops the list with 79, and while his description of himself as “a humorous person” makes my right eye twitch, he’s fit.

(Paradoxically, someone who was great at dating would not need to go on many first dates.) Fortunately for the rest of us, a new generation of Internet entrepreneurs has arisen to make finding love – or at least, finding someone to make out with – as easy as firing off a Snapchat.

Like other dating sites, the new phone-based dating apps are their own individual world, with their own subtle rules and social mores.

Buoyed with renewed hope, I begin the personality test they swear will only take ten minutes – and almost instantly regret it.

I thought Ok Cupid’s set-up was lengthy but this is endless.

Ok Cupid has conducted its own studies on profile pictures belonging to female users (with their consent), finding that attractive women do indeed get plenty of messages, but that "guys tend to ignore girls who are merely cute." They also found that in some cases, the more variance there is among male users' view of a woman's picture, the more attention the woman receives.

In other words, being different or distinctive may polarize men's opinions, but it often works to the woman's advantage. If you have a big nose, play it up," the Ok Cupid post "Mathematics of Beauty" reads.

I feel like I’m trying to adopt a man rather than date one as I “agree somewhat” and “disagree strongly” with the following: I like helping others; I am sensitive to stress; I have a short temper; I’m strong willed; I’m trusting; I’m responsible; I worry about the future; I sometimes feel overwhelmed by life.

At the end of this survey, I’m painfully aware I might need therapy more than a boyfriend. Once my profile is all set up, I browse the matches Elite Singles has chosen for me.

Did you think the gap between "attractive" and "less attractive" users would be so vast when it comes to receiving attention?